Stepping into Forties….

    In few days, I will be stepping into the dreaded forties…why is it dreaded…??? That’s what we have been made to believe by the society. Is it actually dreaded…? I don’t know, for I am entering that zone for the first time… :)

    But, one thing is for sure that its one landmark. Is it so…?? As any intellectual does, I also wanted to quench my thirst for knowledge, and GOOGLEd it…oh my…I am not the only one who thought so. An American has gone a step ahead and has written a book titled, Life Begins at 40..!! That too it was written way back in 1932. And it seems to be a self help book…thankfully, not a fiction. And Google, as usual, tries to enrich our knowledge by displaying related questions. One such question was, “What is the 40^th birthday called?” and the answer is Ruby Jubilee. Intriguingly, I searched if there are names for 39^th and 41^st birthday…thankfully, no name was readily prompted by GOOGLE. Hence the proof that 40^th birthday is actually a landmark.

    Have been thinking about the forty years that one has been alive for. And comparison with others is but natural. While comparison has been widely disgraced, I did think how lucky I have been, in avoiding a number of pitfalls which few of my equals in life could not surmount successfully. Listing the positive achievements is one way of thinking about the life which may be materialistic and emotional in nature. Behind these positive achievements, some have been due to acquiring some skills or taking few steps. Interestingly, I realized that one important aspect to achieve few good things have been the ‘lack’ of few other things in my life. To put it otherwise, I can say that absence of few things have been the strength for the other positive things. I would like to list these things, as some of these are no brainers and some are easily achievable by everyone, provided that we are aware of these aspects.

    Before I start to list out, I obviously mean not to undermine the efforts and impact of my family, friends, teachers and others. There is a concept that is becoming widely acknowledged nowadays, called as ‘Ovarian Lottery’. It is being popularized by Warren Buffet. The moment you hear this word, you realize that a simple but a powerful awakening dawn upon you. We could just have been anyone or anywhere. Just by draw of that lottery we are here where ever we are and we are whatever we are. So in no way I am taking away any of the importance of people in my life.

    No particular order or precedence in the list…. Again, one more disclaimer, few things which are figuring below may be your favorite; I in no way mean to disregard your indulgence. And in fact you may opine that I am missing something great, the pleasure of things you find it here and you indulge in, but that’s ok; it suits me.

So, here we go….

1.    No mega serials.    Sounds stupid, right…? I don’t remember watching any serials in my life but for a few which were the fashion of the days in my early school days. Generally our society has been associating the serials only with women, but believe me, I know few men who will make the women envy with their indulgences in the soap operas. Not only the viewing time, negativity that is generally filled in each frame, effort involved in reviewing these negativities with co-watchers and the energy needed to come out these negativities…ufffff…

2.    No TV. Seriously.     I do have a TV and a DTH Box. The DTH is activated only when our family members come over to stay with us, which is not very frequent, by the way. I realized that TV has a special power for addiction not just because of the actual content you intend to watch but because of the Advertisements. Strangely, watching TV programs interrupted with Ad gives a feel that you are doing something ‘mainstream’ and you end up doing more of it. You may also have realized that you would browse for some time before settling to watch something. The invisible time lapse is considerable.

3.    No EMI. KV Kamath of ICICI is credited to be the father of EMI in India for the consumer products. Successfully, I have been able to disappoint him. I have resisted myself from the tentacles of the EMI net. More than simple direct additional cost, I believe, it creates a habit of expending the money that we don’t have, and as the saying goes, on the items that we dint need. Actual addiction is not in signing up for an EMI but when you close it. When you successfully complete the payment for an EMI purchase, you develop a strange feeling of achievement. This ‘false achievement’ generates a greater impulse or urge to go for next EMI and there you get into the vicious cycle.

4.    No addiction to movie stars. One of the absences, which I am very happy about, to this day. Where I come from, worshipping a movie star is more common than anything else. It used to cut across all the strata. Recently, to capitalize on the holidays of Pongal, two movies starring actors with major fan following were released on the same day. During the FDFS, numerous clashes had occurred. Even a life was lost. But the world moves on like nothing happened. If you were watching the right channels, you might have seen the ‘fans’ erecting 100 feet tall cut-outs for these actors, climbing these cut-outs and washing the same with milk etc..,. One’s liking is never the question here; just imagine the time, energy, money that have been wasted. Think of the life that was lost. Some ‘may’ give some financial aid, but is that a replacement..?? I have successfully evaded the clutch of such fervor. I do like the performance of a particular actor, but I don’t know his birthday, dog’s name etc..,. In fact, there are few movies of that actor which I have not even seen. That doesn’t disturb my sleep.

5.    No costly hobbies. This one is ‘not-so-clean’ absence, for the word costly is relative. What is an affordable hobby or indulgence for you may be a costlier one for me. In same relative terms, I have been able to indulge in the hobbies that don’t burn holes in my pocket.

6.    No Tea time.   Believe me, I can understand your hatredness towards me. After my school days when I ventured out of home as hostler I dint develop the inclination for tea (may be that I prefer coffee over tea, that too homemade). By not having a specific time-bound requirement to sit down for a tea saves a lot of time. And lot of calories too…!! Lot of people has explained the tea time as dedicated family time. Depends.

    Absence of few things alone will not propel us on to the path we desire, but will surely facilitate the same as it removes lot of baggage and the associated negativities.

Arshad Warsi……how beautiful SHE is…..

Yeah, you read it correct, how beautiful SHE is….

I was on the way to Chandigarh with high spirits. So very high spirit that the passenger next to me in the bus, changed not his seat, but the bus itself. No specific reason why I was high in spirit, but for general happiness, I guess…the bus spewed all the passengers in Chandigarh at around 7’o clock in the morning. Still disoriented to certain extent I took an auto to the guest room earmarked for me. Believe me, there were times when auto was easier than a cab….

I was working with an organization that was spread across the country and even overseas. I was positioned at a difficult area and the very word Chandigarh should have taken me to cloud eleven (why should nine have all the fun). But I was not…

I was to stay in Chandigarh for a month and undergo a training at Mohali.  

Reached the guest room, informed the concerned people and settled down. In my next room, heard some noises, strangely sounded similar to the noises from my room, like somebody else was settling there…just like me…

Here I must say about my proficiency in the language Hindi. During my school days, I had joined Hindi coaching classes, like everyone else. Dakshina Bharat Hindi Prachar Sabha conducts these eight exams from Prathamik to Praveen. You may undergo coaching classes if you want, then apply for the exams, attend, clear it and take certificate. It is used to be told that Praveen is equivalent to MA in Hinid. Only God knows if that’s true. But that was supposed to be a motivating factor.

The trend was generally you take six months to one year for first exam and thereafter you start clearing one exam every six month. I thought, let me also do it. The coaching was at the house of a teacher which was in the street next to ours. Also, couple of my friends were studying there. So I decided I will also join, have some fun time as well. I toiled the first year, and cleared Prathamik in First Class. Got motivated. Brimming with that motivation, continued to study for the second exam and was hoping to appear for the same in next six months.

Life is not so easy you see….My teacher said that I am not ready in six months. So succumbed to pressure of continuing for six more months and appeared in second exam and passed in Second Class. The story repeated for one more time and I appeared for third exam after a year. I passed the third exam also, but in Third Class. Now that’s something to ponder about. First exam in First class, Second in Second class and Third in Third class. By simple logic and knowing one’s graph, I realised that I will pass the Fourth exam in Fourth Class. Sudden revelation occurred….There is NO FOURTH CLASS….it is called as FAIL.

How can “I” fail…??? Can I let that happen….?? I decided….resolved myself.…bought forward all my courage….

Walked up to my parents, shared the simple logic I have mentioned above and they also agreed. So I stopped going to the Hindi Coaching Class.

The northern most part of India I had visited before starting my career was Tiruppathi. So when I went to Bhopal for the interview, training at a place even farther in North direction, the very aspect of going there was an adventure by itself. Somehow, I managed and started my career. Hindi in me was where ever it was, THIRD CLASS…..

In the job, I did something to my full conviction but people didn’t like it. They wanted me to be sent away for a break (their break, obviously)…So, here I am, settling myself in a guest room in Chandigarh.

The person next door was Alexander from Kerala. He was also in Chandigarh for the same training. In his job, he had done something good and people had sent him to enjoy. Felt strange….same place, same thing to be done, reason for one was happier and other was not so…

As obvious it would be, we both spent some time together to know each other. I realised I was the most adventurous type between both of us. The northern most part he had ever visited before picking up the job was Coimbatore, got interviewed at Bengaluru and trained at Chennai. And he dint have the opportunity of spending his evenings with some ‘good’ people in the pretext of Hindi classes. So, naturally I took charge of roaming around in the Ga Ga Garh….

One fine day we decided that we will go to a movie. Lage Raho Munna Bhai was the talk of the town. So we went to the nearest mall. So one Thambi and a Mallu went to watch a Hindi movie in Chandigarh. Believe me, we enjoyed the movie. Especially the heroine. She was the typical cute and beautiful looking women who was shown more beautiful by the cameraman. That too in the song ‘Pal Pal Pal Har Pal…’ she was amazing.

The good movie was nearing the end and we suddenly realised that both of us dint know the name of the Heroine. Not a national crime, but we both liked her it would be unjust not to know her name. Now how to find out the name..?? Alexander said we will ask the person next to us but I shooed him saying ‘what will they think of us…and more over why do you have to ask anyone….movie is about to end and finally the credit slides will roll over and we can know her name from there….’ The Mallu liked the idea of Thambi. Now I started praying that the credit slides should come.

Thank God, the credits for the cast rolled up…..was following it up very closely…Sanjay Dutt….Hero ka naam….heroine name heroine name….here comes after the hero’s name…eyes struck there…. Arshad Warsi… Wow what a beautiful name….befitting name….Thambi revealed to the Mallu that the Heroine’s name is ‘Arshad Warsi’…

For next few days, Thambi and Mallu were singing THE LINE, ‘PAL PAL PAL HAR PAL HAR PAL…..’ on repeat mode (for we could register only these many words) and discussing the Heroine, ‘Arshad Warsi……how beautiful she is…..’

CasteLESS Names

 Would you name all the Prime ministers of India…?? Let us not break our head in recalling all the names…let us do the obvious, Google it and see the list in Wikipedia…. The names are listed below (Acting Prime Ministers not included):-

1.    Jawaharlal Nehru

2.    Lal Bahadur Shastri

3.    Indira Gandhi

4.    Moraji Desai

5.    Charan Singh

6.    Indira Gandhi

7.    Rajiv Gandhi

8.    Vishwanath Pratap Singh

9.    Chandrasekar Singh

10.   PV Narasimha Rao

11.   Atal Bihari Vajpayee

12.   HD Deve Gowda

13.   Inder Kumar Gujral

14.   Atal Bihari Vajpayee

15.   Manmohan Singh

16.   Narendra Modi

            Would you kindly separate the given name from the Surname from the above list…?? Keep it aside.

Let us list the Chief Ministers of Tamilnadu…again, same cycle, list from Wikipedia…have taken the list from 1947 onwards (to be in sync with above list).

1.    Omanthur P Ramaswamy Reddiar

2.    PS Kumaraswamy Raja

3.    C Rajagopalachari

4.    K Kamaraj

5.    M Bhakthavatsalam

6.    CN Annadurai

7.    M Karunanidhi

8.    MG Ramachandran

9.    VN Janaki Ramachandran

10.    M Karunanidhi

11.    J Jayalalithaa

12.    M Karunanidhi

13.    J Jayalalithaa

14.    O Pannerselvam

15.    Edappadi K Palaniswami

16.    MK Stalin

Repeat the same….write down the surnames of the Chief Ministers of Tamilnadu…

Voila….noted the difference….??? Yes, maximum Chief Ministers of Tamilnadu did not have the so called Surnames. To name few celebrities hailing from Tamilnadu, Rajinikanth (Shivaji Rao Gaekwad is birth name but that is not what he is addressed in our part of the country, Kamal Hassan, AR Rahman, Subrahmanyam Jaishankar (although a Delhi born, he is from Tamilnadu), Sir CV Raman, Nirmala Sitharaman, Anbumani Ramadoss, Kamala Harris, General PP Kumaramangalam, MS Subbulakshmi, Major Ramaswamy Parmeshwaran, Mariappan Thangavel, Viswanathan Anand, Sundar Pichai…..

Not only the Chief Ministers or the celebrities, check with any of your friends from the Tamilnadu, you will be surprised to know that they also do not have a surname.

Let us first understand a bit about SURNAME. Like any intellectuals do, search in Google and reach Wikipedia page on SURNAME. It is the portion of one’s name that indicates one’s family/tribe/community. Thus the surnames in rest of the country represents the caste they are born into. In other words, the SURNAME announces the caste very openly along with their names.

You may try to explain it lamely as ‘gaon ka naam’, ‘khaanthaan ka naam’, ‘TITLE’ (I find this particular explanation to be the most hilarious… “NO, NO…. THIS IS NOT CASTE, BUT TITLE”….duhhhh) etc… But don’t you agree to the fact that this word, which most of these people are carrying around like a badge of achievement denotes a group of people holding on to that identity, either by choice or default, for over a period of time to invoke a particular image associated to every SURNAME…..???

I can give numerous examples…just want to say this much to show the impact of these so called SURNAMES in our society, that one particular family changed the name of the person to whom their daughter got married to so as to embrace that particular SURNAME. With no rhyme or reason or logic or cultural example, even the subsequent women of that family is using the same SURNAME even after getting married to persons of different SURNAME. This is because the surname is the hottest currency in major portion of our country.

Not only those big names, even in other cities, towns and especially in villages, people stress upon telling their surnames first or rather, tell only their surnames. I have experienced the terror/impact/telling effect of certain surnames in numerous occasions. Why is this a point of observance now…???

On one side, everyone in the country says ‘let us abolish CASTES….everyone is same…we are equal and all stories…’ But are they really meaning it…??

Just imagine, a person walk into a hall full of people with an automatic weapon in hand and preach the gathering about non-violence…..??? Which will be more effective, his speech or the image he is representing there ….???

Exactly, you may shout at the peak of your voice for equality, against castes, against various atrocities, all the while being called to the stage to address the mass gathering along with your TITLE….. “Now our best speaker, KARTHIK CASTE1 will speak against the caste system in India……..” (For obvious reason, I have included my name as BEST SPEAKER and used the ‘CASTE1’ as name of a CASTE).

                                                       NOW YOU SEE THE POINT..???

Even the greatest human being of our country while being vocal about social injustice, denounced only the un-touchability and not the caste system itself. He himself carried his SURNAME with him always.

So how come one state seems to have escaped from this stigma….?? One word reply is DRAVIDIANISM.

No, pl don’t jump in to any conclusions….Am speaking about one of the greatest contribution of a social movement, which happens to be known widely as DRAVIDIANISM. It was not a single man/group/party people who did this social movement. It was not even in same time frame…it was the self-realizing thoughts put into actions by numerous people over a period of time. That’s why it’s a social movement. (Details are worth a separate blog….may be in future)

What is the single most contribution of this so called SOCIAL MOVEMENT…??? Just changing the names into something more fashionable…??? No…It is one strong and sure step towards reducing/removing the impact of caste to those at such places where it matters…..

Presently, we are aware of one party which is widely identified with Hinduism. Even the Gen Secretary/State Head/Leaders of that party in Tamilnadu don’t have these SURNAMES. Do you see the difference now…??? Realizing the impact…???

My Grandfather from father’s side had a SURNAME. My father did not have one. My Grandfather from mother’s side had a SURNAME. My mother never had one. Obviously I don’t have one. Even more obvious, my son doesn’t have it….. It is the result of the social movement, where in the people were made aware of the evils of the CASTE and stigmatized the words of caste. Has the CASTE system abolished in Tamilnadu…?? Not yet, but it is not rampant and not very obvious (Remember, BHARATMATRIMONY has community wise sites… ;P ).

But, this is a major step towards reducing/removing the impact of caste at the place where it is needed and for those whom it matters. Now, am saying, giving up the SURNAME is THE solution about the ills of castes…..No, but it’s a firm step in that direction.

Now people of Taminadu still know the caste of most other people whom they know. Otherwise also, with one’s name in Tamilnadu, a Tamilian can still guess certain aspects. But this trend of giving up the SURNAME has certainly reduced knowing/asking about the caste of any person whom you are meeting for the first time, for sure….

During my school days, once I have been asked in my own town by an elderly guy, “Neenga enna aalunga…??” (‘YOU ARE WHAT PEOPLE…??’). Basically that guy asked my name first and then asked this question…look at the smoothness of the question…without using the word CASTE, he asked me my caste…. Even around twenty years back the question was such a smoothie…..imagine now….nobody asks it for sure (there may be couple of villages/places where this might still be happening; also, am not ruling out the scenario wherein one doesn’t have to ask to know about the caste of a person, like in a remote/small village).

But don’t you think this is a sure way ahead…?? So what have the people of this one state replaced their SURNAME with….?? In Tamilnadu, everybody has a given name and approx. 97% will have their Father’s name as the second part of the name. This way of naming anybody is called as PATRONYMIC. Like my given name is Karthikeyan and second part of my name is my father’s name. Most of the times the first letter of father’s name is written as INITIALS instead of writing full name. Patronymic method doesn’t limit itself to Fathers’ alone, it may name of any male figure of the family.

Now, one may say, this male-chauvinism. I leave it that to you. (I mentioned approx. 97% use father’s name; this means people are using their wife’s name also as initials).

Mahakavi Bharathiyar (Subramania Bharati), almost all of Tamilnadu knows his caste, not by reading his name…. but by reading or knowing or watching his history. One more even more cherished Poet/writer of almost equally sweet language, whom the country will have to remember always, always wrote with his SURNAME. When I read that particular poet writing against the evils of the caste system, I get caught thinking the irony….

Try doing it….INDIA, try doing it…It is possible and it is for our good and future. CASTELESS names are possible…..CASTELESS SOCIETY is possible…

 

TV vs Projector

 

Earlier, we spoke about the comparison between Projector and a TV in an emotional point of view. Now, let us compare both of them objectively.

TV is a well-known piece of electronics, which we all are fairly used to. This generally creates an affinity towards TV and accordingly an averse feeling about the little known Projector. Actually, this is a strong factor. Most of the time, purchase of TV is an up-gradation from existing box which comes with some known features and a lot of unknown and unused features. While in case of projector, some of us may have experienced it in different ways but never would have thought of it with the perspective of buying one for yourself for personal usage. This natural affinity-aversion is a major blockade.

Let us take the TV first. The TV has the advantage of so called user-friendliness (which may not be the case fully in a SMART TV). Easy to install, connect, start and use. It has the speaker to fill your TV room/hall/living room. The clarity of the picture and the intensity in which the clarity is delivered is, I must say, is a feast.

The BIG TVs have an immense signature in the room and when combined with good speakers and a room set-up, it may give a “glimpse’ of theatre experience. The TV may allow you to watch the movie with your room light ON… Oh is that the theatre experience we are speaking of…??

I have listed top three glaring disadvantages of TV below:-

1.       The cost of TV. Cost of the TV for a display size above 40 inch ranges upwards of Rs. 38,000/-. That too old models, lesser known brands, conspicuously discreet HD Ready models lure around in this range. Any decent brand with desired results is upwards of Rs 50,000/- (I searched for SMART TV in Amazon.in with filters of four stars and Up, 40-47, 48-54 and above 55 inch)

2.       The impact of screen light on your eyes. It is a direct hit from the so-many LEDs packed and drinking so much of power to bring out the brightness to mightily impress you. While it does impress you, it does hurt you as well. You may be thinking that watching news broadcast, one match or a movie in the weekend will hurt. You right, but are you the only one affected…??

3.        Occupies considerable space. A 55 inch TV occupies 4 ft x 2.3 ft always. There is nothing you can do about it. Putting it on a stand…needs a TV console. Planning to mount in a wall…?? Mark the dimensions first to realise the size we are speaking about.

So what is my recommendation..??? Buy a Short-throw, non-3D, HD LED Projector.

Advantages of the Projector against a TV….

1.    Obviously, the image size. The size of the wall or the screen is the limit. 120 inch can be easily captured on the wall. Now, that’s a theatre experience. While the screen size of a projector is nowhere comparable to the theatre, considering the fact that you are not sitting farther than 2 meters from the screen at home against the minimum 25 meters in a theatre, yes it is a near theatre experience.

2.   The image is reflected image and hence the impact on your eyes is minimal. Consider you kid watching Peppa Pig for half an hour in TV and in Projector…?? No great science, obviously, the TV has bigger impact on the eyes.

3.     My second favorite reason after the screen size is the fact, that when not used, it is easily packed or tucked away above your head, with the roof or in one wall.

4.     You can easily shift to your garden or balcony area and have a night movie watching.

5.     The cost is very reasonable. With LED and Android OS, the cost of projectors from even reputable brands are very less. I searched for HDSMART Projector in Amazon.in, I could see a number of reliable products with 4 stars and above ratings in the price range of upwards of Rs 15,000.

So called draw backs in the projectors should also be known. I have listed them below.

1.    Decision to buy a projector should be based upon your house-layout, space available etc.

2.    You may initially find it cumbersome to connect HDMI cables. But an easy solution is to buy two set of HDMI cable, one longer enough to be connected always to the projector with it’s other end available near your DTH or Laptop. The second HDMI cable can be used when you are shifting the projector to a garden or something like that…

3.    Starting up a projector may not be appealing to all. Also, there exists a myth that a projector takes loooong time to be up and running….Latest TVs are taking comparable time to start.

How to or what to buy….??

While I may come up with guide for buying a projector in the future, I feel there are adequate guides already available in the net. Few terminologies have to be understood and your potential projector should have the numbers against these terminologies on the favorable side…That’s it.

Don’t worry much about the things like life of LED is 10,000 hrs only, the lumens is 3200 only, its only 720P, its not 3D enabled and all. Remember, BEST is the enemy of good. If you are looking for the BEST, you may end up looking for ever.

My personal view is buy a projector upwards of Rs 25,000 and enjoy the huge image. If you already have a TV which you were planning to replace, don’t sell it. Place it somewhere else and enjoy the feel. The projector do have in-built speakers, and is decent enough. However, you may like to connect an external speaker, through Bluetooth or 3.5 mm jack and enjoy a totally packed moment.

Few things that i recommend that the SMART projector should have are minimum Two USB ports (you can connect wireless mouse and keyboard), Three HDMI ports (you can connect Chrome cast or Fire Stick), Bluetooth, 3.5 mm jack, adjustable supports etc..,

Your kid may stare into the lens of the projector. You will have to encourage them to avoid the light and showing the ‘big’ picture. I was able to show the ‘bigger’ picture within a couple of times of my son staring into the lens.

So, enjoy….

BUY A TV OR PROJECTOR: AN EMOTIONAL INSIGHT

    As we progress in life, one of the common life-style up-gradation we all do is to buy a bigger, smarter TV. Is it really smart to buy such a TV or do we have any other option. Yes, one of the alternate that we are going to explore here is the option of buying a Projector. 

    Now, I presume that you already have a TV which may be functional or broken and with your progress in life, you have decided to upgrade it. Our attempt to explore the option of projector applies almost equally even if you are planning to buy your first TV. Major consideration that comes into play for up-gradation is the screen size. You have 28/32/40 inch screen sized TV and now you are planning to buy 55 inch or above. At this size, obviously you are looking at a SMART TV. 

    

    Before we proceed, please consider the following points deliberately and ponder upon yourself:- 

1. Where is your present TV placed..? Drawing room..?? Bedroom..?? Or a TV Room...?? 

2. What do you mean by SMART TV and what are the SMART features that you are looking for...?? 

3. What are the SMART features that the TV is bringing with it and would you use all of it...?? 

4. Do you already have a Fire Stick/Prime/Netflix/Zee/Hotstar subscription..?? If not, are you planning to buy...?? 

5. How much time do you watch, let us say, in a da...?? 

6. What do you watch…?? Movies, NEWS Broadcast, SOAP serials, etc..,. Obviously we are likely to watch everything at some point, what is that you are looking for the most…?? Movies or TV broadcast in general..?? 

7. How frequently you invite people to watch a movie/match etc.., with you at your place….?? 

8. Do you own any gaming console or planning to buy...?? 

9. Do you have TV watching kids at home...??

 

    Now let us get started...!! I have observed that at most of our houses, the TV forms part of the drawing room. Obviously, it is a personal choice, but reconsider this aspect....you are watching a movie and a neighbor or a friend of your sibling/mom/dad walks in... what happens to the movie…?? Also, imagine a 4 feet x 2.5 feet blank screen (physical size of a 55 inch TV) occupying your drawing room... ;P 

    While the latest SMART TV packs an endless list of smartness, you actually don’t use much of those stuff. Practically you need your TV to be WiFi enabled, Multiple Display & Sound modes, audio output (3.5mm & Bluetooth), multiple input options (minimum two HDMI in), connectivity to external device like mobiles/Laptops and capability to handle Apps. The TV manufacturers will give a list of so many SMART features which you may never even need. One of the feature that appears in almost all the lists of Top Must-have-features for SMART TV in the review websites is Music Streaming. Music Streaming by TV...??? Duhhhh.... 

Just imagine....you have a room set with a projector in one side, the opposite wall comes live and watching a movie with your friends on a 126 inch size image....Which is more fun, a Projector or TV...?? 

    Let us agree that most of us are past our prime to watch TV serials and NEWS Broadcasts in TV... We are mostly glued to TVs for Movies and Sports. The quantum of time that we actually watch TVs has reduced considerably because of the mobile phones... 

    Yeah, the clarity is important aspect that the TV will win over in argument between the TV and Projector, as the cost of Projector giving that much clarity will be at least five times. But for a moment, a take a breath and visualize watching 126 inch screen with lower clarity, connected to good speakers against watching the same in 55 inch with greater clarity…choice is yours.... 

    The projector doesn’t need space as it can be mounted in one unused corner/roof of the house and a plain wall can be used as screen. With the short-throw projectors with high lumens you don’t need big room or a dark room to see the movie. Obviously the image is a reflection and hence the impact on eyes considerably lower. Have a gaming console, try it with Projector...mind blowing. 

    Initial cost of the projectors that are available today are not very high as it used to be and the running cost is very low. Life, yes depends on the time you utilise it and out of my personal experience, wherein have been watching around two to three movies a week and frequent Kinect gaming for last seven years, I have not noticed any drop in performance. 

    When you called a couple a friends for movie over lunch, put it in any room, draw the curtains, connect your speakers for enhanced effects and enjoy. Have called friends for dinner..?? Shift the projector to garden or porch or backyard, connect your gaming console and have fun...or just watch that high volatage sports event you have been waiting for... or just a watch an horror movie lying on grass.... Your kid would love to watch huge sized Peppa Pig or Grizzy and The Lemmings and will keenly bring friends to show off the immersive gaming.... 

I have kept this post purposefully in an emotional point of view about utilizing a Projector instead of TV…Will do one more post bringing more head-on comparison between the both...

Foxcatcher

It’s after a long time, i am writing here... Recently I saw the movie Foxcatcher and couldn’t resist writing about it...

The movie starts in a slow pace and gives a doubt if it’s about failed life of a successful athlete. It goes slowly for sometime confirming your doubt, but be aware it is to set you to the gripping mood of the movie. First the story, it’s loosely based on true event of an Olympic Wrestling Gold medalist being shot and killed by his rich mentor.

The movie sets out showing the dire need in which the athlete is, for preparing for the upcoming competitions. I was very happy that these are shown in a swift manner so as not to hold you down. The movie then seems to pick up some pace, however, it is purposefully mellowed-down to keep it slow in a mood of describing an irony. The wealthy patron facilitates the athlete well and they even set out winning World Championship. The Patron brings in the athlete's elder brother (who is also a medalist) also into the team and some misunderstanding breaks the tie-up with younger one after poor show in Olympics. Slowly, the Patron catches upon you. His body language, mannerism says everything. Finally not able to control things anymore, the Patron, drives up to the older brother, pulls out a gun and shoots him down.

First of all the director deserves the applause for not essaying, using a background voice or something, to explain each and every action of the people, but he makes you understand the reason rather than making it to be known. Each frame expresses people, makes you think that you know that person well and hence need no explanation.

But the hero of the movie is the Patron himself. It is played by Steve Carell. You may recall him from movies like Evan Almighty and Get Smart. I like him in Get Smart, a kind of spoof detective movie. I couldn’t believe myself, its Steve...!!! Tremendous performance. In fact, it’s because of his performance, i thought i should write this blog. If you have seen his earlier movies, he has been doing good comedy role, and i was not surprised in knowing that he was nominated as 'America's Funniest Man'. But the way he has handled himself here is totally unbelievable. He takes you into Du Pont's head, makes you to pity him, curse him, hate him, predict him, and yet love him.

Each and every frame Steve appears has its signature. Even when he is walking away from you, you can see his face, read his mind and know what he might do. When he swings the younger on against the older brother, during his formal conversation with his mom, when he demonstrates wrestling to her, he actually makes you think that you have been tele-ported to the actual events itself. I don’t want to keep mounting it over and over, but if you watch the movie, you are going to enjoy it thoroughly and love him...

(PS… The swiftness in which the Police moves in, courts an arrest and the fact that he was punished for murder and remained prison for life although being from the wealthiest and powerful family of America makes me jealous about their system. I wish even we have such robust and unbiased Police and Judicial Departments. I wish it happens, soon).

Everything is understood..!!

"How do i get out of the bus when there is an accident...?" When i asked this question to the conductor, neither the conductor nor any of the co-passengers were happy... I could feel the growl in the driver, who happened to be nearby.

This is a TNSTC bus plying from Chennai to Coimbatore. This is jam packed weekend. Weekend after the diwali holidays. As such, this route is always packed up. The question was partly attributable to the movie, 'Engeyum Eppothum' and partly to the accident that happened two days before. The conductors normally dont reply to such questions, must have been a real dull day for him, he took me to my seat, which as usual was the last one, and explained me of the Emergency Break Glass at the rear and also gave me an hammer. Most of the passengers were astonished including me at the response by the conductor.

My friend who had recently joined in the same company in which i was working gave me slight sigh with an expression as 'what are you going to do with the hammer now' type look, but knowing me and my capability for an oration, which i had already started preparing in my mind, he kept quiet.

This weekend break was essential as i had quiet some chores to look into. Had to do some purchase for my sister's marriage. She is getting married to her colleague. After some resistance from our family, i was able to convince them in her favour. The reason for me to support her love is not only that i am also planning such a marriage but somehow i am convinced very strongly that the couple is the one who is going to live the life, so it should be of their plan and wish. Moreover, the person with whom she was in love seemed to be a responsible and a sensible guy. Although he was yet to settle with a good job i am confident of things turning for good.

Today in the evening he had only picked me from my house and dropped in the Koyambedu Bus Stand. He was mentioning about few more companies which he was eyeing for a job. I had also promised to give him some reference in the companies where i had some friends.

I was deeply thinking about the way i can get my things worked out. Her Mom has already started pressurising me for the marriage. She has been doing that for almost two years now, throughout these days my reply has been same. The bus slowly rolled out of the bus stand. As usual, i was travelling light, through with dinner already at in the mess. Had bought a water bottle as usual at the inflated rate equivalent to the cost of milk. Not sure when, who or how these things are going to be checked.

The reply has been same throughout these years. The bus reached the highway and started picking up speed. The night life outside the bus was dying down. The typically crowded bus was sleeping into the night. I wonder how some people get to sleep so fast, even in the bus. The hammer which the conductor had given me was also playing its role in spoiling my sleep from beneath my seat. I have been able to quote my sister's marriage so far, as reason for delaying my marriage. Now that is not going to hold water any more.

Her Mom is fully right from her side for her girl is already 27 yrs old and my family has not yet confirmed regarding our wed-lock. Moreover they have started receiving proposals for the second girl, younger sister of my probable-wife. From the day we had finalised my sister's marriage, they had started pestering. The bus had halted for a tea break, i realised only after hearing the friend's husky voice from behind the sleep clouds. As usual the bus had stopped in the place which is favourite to it. Probably the bus likes that place for it may be getting free air for its tyres to cushion the movement on the harsh road, hope you understand what i am saying....!!!

Her sister is 25 yrs old and is working in a private company after studying Engineering. They are absolutely right from their side, but how am i going to declare my things..it would be viewed by everyone has a continuance of the league started by my sister...!! Being the sole bread-winner of the family after my Dad's demise, i was able to stand and convince people for my sister, but who would do such things for me..?? The bus had started stretching itself again on the highway and to my wonder, the crowd has again fell into sleep just like a flip-flop switch operation.

The bus was alighting a bit, i felt so. Must be that driver is overtaking some snails, i justified myself. One more important problem in my marriage is how am i going to say to the family...?? My mom is afraid to speak to my uncles and i cant shamelessly say to them, 'i like this girl and pl get us married...!!' No i wont be able to say that. God, i really wish that my cousin bro was here. He is the one on whom i can rely on.

We had been close to each other during our school days. But once he started his college life and me picking up my dad's job we couldnt be in touch as much as we like...!! Nevertheless we speak now and then. He has been staying out of home for 13 years now for various reasons like studies, job etc..,. He does get to know the problem and reach the root easily. One more thing which i admire of him is his capability to judge people. Rather than judging he gets to 'know' people very soon. I think i should speak to him to handle my situation.

Yeah thats the right way.....oh this is not some overtaking...it seems to be re-coursing after a strong drifting...!!! Rather than just thinking, let me atleast check with the driver, i thought. I walked on the aisle slowly looking at the sleeping people. Heard somewhere, that King Goutama saw the plight of the sleeping human bodies before he left everything behind to attain enlightenment and become Buddha. I hope that i dont leave everything behind after seeing........TTThhhhhhaaddddd...!!!!

Peace. Meaningless and endless peace. Slowly i woke up to a burning sensation. My right leg was bleeding. Not an issue. My right hand was almost senseless...ahh should not bother me much..!!! Small burns throughout my body is not of major concern..there is something more, causing this much annoyance..!! What is it..??? Slowly i realised that my head was bleeding. My right ear seems to be hurt..but why the heck should it pain so much..i tried touching it. Failed to find it. Tried again and failed again.

Slowly i recollected what happened. As i was moving on the aisle, there has been an accident. Accident. 'Accident....!!!' Oh i have the hammer, and the emergency glass. When i started moving towards the rear, i realised that i had almost reached the front of the bus. What i saw as i was intending to move behind was the horrible sights i have ever seen..!!! Most of the people have been jammed in between the seats...i started remembering my school day Zoology lab...every possible part of the human body taken out of their location and freshly displayed to me...!!! Corner of my mind was saying 'thank god, they are dead, dead while they are asleep'..!!! What is this..why is this particular piece of flesh seems familiar....no no i must be dreaming...!! I moved confidently to the rear to break the glass and save the people...but whom am i going save....?? I reached my seat, took the hammer and started hitting it with my left hand and after three, four blows i realised i was not hitting anything...i dropped the hammer only to find that there was no glass at all...!!

I didnt know what else to do..!! Never thought how fast the mind can think of various things. Although people think that the mind migrates between very random things, the truth is the mind 'jumps' from one thought to another from a connecting word or thought. This happens so very rapidly, one generally thinks the thoughts are random. Thats the reason why we are generally not able to co-relate the duration of dream and the actual time factor. Everyone fantasise themselves as a kind of hero sometimes, while at times of insanity as some unwanted element of the society who can do anything and everything at will. I was imagining myself as both hero as well a dacoit and with less thoughts, these were so rapidly occurring that i was worried what i would finally become. Why in the hell am i thinking about my girl now...??? Dont worry, everything will be fine. Oh shoot, i was supposed to meet her in the morning, because of this accident, it may not happen......i was mentally cursing the driver. The nearby-seat on my right side was seemingly vibrating so vigorously towards me...is it possible....oh no, its me who is shivering out of pain, fear and shock..!! I dont know what am i going to do....how would i tell my family about my marriage...imposing figure of my uncle was pushing me down. Only soothing effect is by my cousin's hand which is gripping my shoulders and helping me to face the wind gushing through the broken rear glass. My cousin was showing me my girl friend standing in the middle of the road in full bridal dress and i can see people coming towards me with their hands held out to wish me....but why are they coming in such casual dress..?? It seems they are shouting out of some pain....I realise without seeing there were some people behind me also, shouting. But everything is garbled. Is my marriage so painful for these people....who in the name of hell are they to decide what is good or bad for me...??? I should shoo these people out of my life. I will lift, hold and drag these people out of my life. Some may be gluing themselves to the floor with some extra support but i will lift them by their hands and even if they resist i will drag them out of my life...oh how gutsy this man is...he has reached me and saying something to me...???

I really dont recollect how long i have been standing near the rear glass. When i slowly regained my senses, i saw people, faceless and nameless, shaking me back to reality. I turn back and see the jammed bus. Few hands were up in the air and they were trying to show that they are alive. Now i can clearly hear what that man was saying to me. 'What happened ? Are you hurt..you come out, we will look after them'. I slowly walk back into the bus.

..

When i woke up, i found some familiar faces around me. My mom had been probably crying for a long time. Her face shows. I realised i was on an hospital bed. There were few magazines lying near the bed, something told me to pick up the evening magazine. It had my photograph. Something is amiss. It was saying that i saved 16 people. The Home Minister had sent special congratulatory message. It had a photograph of the District Collector doing a press conference. It said that the Collector who had reached the spot had taken me to the nearby hospital in his own vehicle. Oh my right ear. It is still paining. I slowly reached for the ear to give a touch therapy so as to convince not to pain so much. It was eluding. Everything came back in a flash. That familiar piece of flesh was my ear...!! My girl friend was sitting near me holding my right hand and crying so profusely. My uncle was standing at a distance. Everything happens for good. This accident has saved me from facing my family for now, everything is understood.

......

Everything in this blog is true, not essentially concerning any single person. There is something for every friend of mine to connect with them-self. This blog should give an uneasiness to the reader, if i have done my job right.

One of my friend 4 (Part 2)...

Chapter 2
Friend of the Guy.

Life in a small town is not so fascinating. It was after years, i was to know the difference of Town, City and a Metro, but the life even then was not so very happening just to realise that sometimes i was bored. I dont remember when i had become a good friend with him. From the days that i can recollect, we have been studying in the same school, sometimes in same class and always had a decent friendship. Was it after i accidentally made him fall from bicycle for which he had to be stitched at places, i really dont know when we had developed a good friendship for each other. We used to share a lot of things between us and after the schools hours, either he used to come to my place or i visit his home. Most of the evenings used to be spent like that. He was very strong by character and had his means in everything. His thought process used to be comparatively faster than me for i used to think that i was better thinker in the school. Once he had duel with two other guys in seventh standard and the fight was rumoured to be for a girl. I got to know the details in next year.

Seemingly he had been 'loving' a girl from sixth standard and two other guys teased her. The teasing was about, well forget it, it is un-Parliamentary to mention it here. I dont have great opinion about love or atleast love at that age. I know that a thinking exists that love at such age is pure and unadulterated, but i am not a big fan to it. But he happened to be my friend and i know him completely and hence i can say that in his case it was true. I really dont remember seeing him much speaking with her or ogling and roaming around her, but he did always remember of her. He had a carving for good quality pens and whenever he bought a pen, her name used to be the first writings. I dont know whether all this sums up to be called a love, but i know this much, that her presence and thought could elate him to any extent.

We moved our way in terms of academics after tenth standard and he being a person with clear thoughts, he went his way. But our friendship remained and i used to meet him whenever it was possible. He was the same person, sharing everything with me. He used to write letters to that girl and keep it to himself for not that he lacked courage but just for the thought that she may say no. I neither supported nor was against it, for i was not having a clear opinion towards all this but i used to just tell him to do anything only after giving a good thought about it. When he was roaming around, due to his natural attributes, he had a lot of girl friends, but he remained good(i hope, you understand what i mean) and deep in his mind was committed to her. The letters to her were piling on and he had a good hand and command in English and Tamil.

One day, he gave me ring and i was to hear his happy voice. I never before, remember him to be excited that much. He told me that he had found her and spoke to her. I am very sure, knowing him, the amount of work he would have had put to discreetly locate her and speak to her in a way not harming her would have been immaculate. He was sounding as if he had attained enlightenment, but for him everything was just nothing but for her. He regularly spoke to her. He used to tell me what they generally spoke, not in particular, and he always mentions that she had inclination in speaking to him. I was happy for him, but at the same time sceptical that things should end good. He started writing the letters again and i saw the amount of time and effort he invested for the letter, which he had decided to post her. He had good knack for various arts. He can draw, write poems etc..,. I saw his first letter, it had her name written in a different way which he told me as an Ambigram, a word which i heard for the first time. I thought that i am under-educated and tried that word with all my classmates and even the staff members, to my satisfaction no one had heard it before.

That was the time, when he used to be on cloud nine always. He used to do a small business out which he earned some money for all his this kind of needs. He was hell bent that he would never call her or spend on something for her out his Dad's money. I started realising where the things were leading to. He was to propose her very shortly and was very sure that she would accept it. Just for argument, I knew that they have been speaking almost everyday for hours and hours, i asked him once how he can say so, for after all she might have been speaking to him just as a friend. That question did make him to think, and that only worsened the case. One fine week end immediately after me asking that question, he proposed to her. He told me that he had given her some time to think over it completely and say anything. He purposely did not call her for a week. Not only he, but also me, was waiting for the reply.

During the times when he was calling and writing to her regularly, i believe that she allowed her friends to read the letters and answer the calls for her. I dont understand till date why she did it. I know this because my friend had become famous among her friends and they have been speaking to him when he used to call her, in attempts to befriend him. He had gifted her a solid crystal piece with inscription of her favourite God, which he had specially got from some God-knows-where place. Those things were totally out of time for all of us. He did visit her and see her from a distance twice, with which i was annoyed. I told he should have had the guts to walk up to her, for which he replied that he did not want to surprise her or do such things which may put her trouble. What the fig.. i used think it all as a total waste of time. That time we were in the third year of the degree and i was really worried that he should keep up his performance, for he had been doing really well always before.

After a week he could not call her for reasons know to me, and he finally called her after one more week. I was there with him when he was speaking to her. I could mildly hear her voice and could not avoid over-hearing things. She had a one liner, "I am surprised and dont know what to say". I remember clearly that she left him hanging rather than saying yes or no. Should i have been in my friend's place, i might have been totally broken down and forced to chose some extremes. But he was composed. He spoke some pleasantries and then hung up the phone. Later two or three more times, he spoke with her, and they spoke as normal, as if nothing had happened. With one sided conversation of my friend, i could make out nothing but wonder how they both can converse as usual, for same amount of time. But i did see some difference in my friend.

One fine day, he told me that he had let her go. What the fig...???

I asked him if she told no or any developments that has forced him to take such decision, for which he replied in negative. I totally could not understand anything, before or even then. All that i could understand and visualise was that my friend being hurt after nine years of dedication and commitment. It may have been one side, but atleast things could have been handled maturely and smoothly to reduce the pinch or atleast could have been stopped before becoming this deep. I was worried, again. But he did recover or atleast showed no signs of damage. But i having been observing him for quiet sometime could make out how much hurt he was. To some surprise of mine, he continued his academic performance and he was the first of all our batch to get settled with a job and move out of the place. After some three years or so, with no attempts from his side to contact her, he asked me if know where she was. I was aware that she was married and settled in life. He was not very surprised, but i was shocked when he told that he wanted to atleast see her once before anything might happen to him. I could not agree, but could not convince him against it.

We decided to visit her in-laws place. He was very meticulous in doing so. He gave a call to their home and informed that he was a friend of her who has just come back from a foreign trip after four years, and heard that most of the friends have got married and thought of meeting them to wish and gift them. We purchased four gifts wrapped in similar packs and went to find the house. He dropped me at place, saying that it may not go well and that he did not want me to be involved, if it is so. He came back after half an hour or so. He could not meet her, it seemed. He narrated everything. He found and entered the house with the father-in-law receiving him with a dark face. Very obvious. He tried to be very friendly with him and the host made him sit and offered a cup of coffee and he had explained him that immediately after Engineering, he got a job abroad and was returning after four years. He opened the bag with four gifts, picked out two with different names written on it, put them back and picked the one which had her name written. He handed over it to him. The father-in-law seemingly convinced of the intentions, told that she is settled in some other place and rang her up and made him to speak. My friend, to obviate any doubts, put the cordless phone on loudspeaker and then spoke to her very coolly. Infact the father-in-law had told my friend that it was her birthday also, as if caught in surprise, he wished her many more birthdays also. As expected, the host asked him to stay for the lunch, which he politely refused by saying that he had to meet three more friends and gift them for their marriages. I think, still believe, it was well executed. Then never ever did he mention about her to me. But i know the dips in his tone also, on every birthday and marriage days, his voice sulks.

Now, visiting her is still a point for discussion, but didnt my friend handle the things maturely. Should he be an insensible person, things might have ended up harming her. He is a well read person, who is aware of things and did handle it maturely, i would say. After so many years, he did mention once that he could have avoided the visit. If my friend was seeing it as adventure or an opportunity, he would not have told me this. Having holistic view makes me think it was my friend's mistake to be so dedicated to her for so long, but he did maintain his stance throughout and kept his limit everytime. Even before proposing to her, he did take his time to read her, but she could have told him a simple NO at any point of time, if not at the beginning itself. If my friend had preconceived notion that 'she is speaking to me, so she is in love with me', it would have been premature and stupid. I know for sure he did not have such thoughts. She could have told him at some point or other, I wish. It was his solitary decision to let her go. Had he not, how things might have turned is discussable. Now he is also married happily (?) and well settled in life.

Epilogue

Was it warranted of the guy to visit her in-laws' place...??? Was it unwarranted of the girl to keep him hanging...??? I dont know.

One of my friend 4 (Part 1)...

Remember the movie, Kamal Hasan's 'Virumaandi'..?? It had an unique narration of same events from two different point of view. I had a similar experience in regard to events relating to one of my friend. He had been telling me over a period of years about his love for a girl and i being a very close friend of him, i am privy to everything of those days. It was long ago that things did not work between them and they parted their ways. After so many years, recently i happened to interact with a close friend of the girl, with whom my friend was in love with. Few things that she revealed, made me think. Result is this blog.

As usual no names, no direct references and it is just an account of things with no personal perception and am giving it from both the friends point of view in first person narration.

Chapter 1
Friend of the Girl.

After all the hard work in my Secondary School and the Entrance exam stuffs, i reached the college i was destined to. Engineering was the trend and so did i follow. Had i been thinking of relaxing after entering the college, man, i was totally wrong. As such the college had quiet a lot of stuffs in offering making me busy, we were also in caught in the whirl of shifting the affiliation in between the Universities. Nobody knew what we were going to be taught and which University might be conducting the exams. Total goose-run till the end of first year. I was having my own problem of settling down in the college. I am from a 'typical' Town, and have been day scholar throughout my school days. Now suddenly i am hosteller in a city college with a lot of city girls. It was difficult to settle down. Then eventually i met her in my hostel, who was to become my friend, infact only friend in my Life.

Like me, she was also a plain girl. She was very simple, soft spoken and studious. Very simple with clean manners. With our interest for books, music and most other things matching, there was no doubt about sticking on to each other. With her background and straight forwardness, she was the person for me to rely on initially for settling down and later to become my friend. Even i used to think how the friendship happens. With the situation dictating every move of mine, is our friendships made with hidden motive to develop and then build the trust or the other way, i still dont know and dont want to know also. But the baseline is we immediately became good friends and almost swore to be life time friends, which we still are. It was during the later part of the first year in the college we shared our personal life. I was never into any kind of affairs in my school life. Not that i was against it, but simply i was not into it. I did have one or two crushes, but it was crushed in the giant roll of time and the need to keep up with the studies and the compulsive society. She was also the same till her seventh or eighth standard, from when she has been 'attracted' to a guy, so strongly. It is an attraction because, it would be premature of anyone to term it as Love and immature to term it as infatuation. Best part was that she was still having the same attraction. She was in the phase of advancing her self into a commitment, for after all, love is a commitment.

She did have her part of similar skirmishes which normally most of the girls do have. But guess what, in her seventh standard there had been a hand to hand fight between three boys in the same class, what in the heck, she was not even that very jovial with the opposite sex, less that she was interacting with someone in a manner to infuriate others. Very obviously, she was worried and confused about the developments. But all those were past, for now she was not disturbed by any of that set of boys and she was attempting to develop her relation with 'that' guy. By then we had become thick friends and each were reliable to each other to great extent. Everything went smooth till that particular day.

We were in the middle of third semester and were just sitting and wailing away our time, when there was a voice in the corridor shouting my friend's name and saying that she was having a call. There was not much ease of the mobiles then and we can get calls from outside through the tele-switch board to our corridor, basically if someone knows the room number, they can ring upto the corresponding corridor without anyone monitoring the call. It was bit unusual, because her parents call mostly after dinner time and her 'friend' prefers to call in the weekends. We had absolutely no knowledge that that call was going to harm her, the maximum for her life.

It was certainly not from her home or 'friend' for she came back very soon, within 5 minutes or so. Her face was bit pale and totally confused. She told, "It is one of them. He is back. I dont know where it is going to lead me." Those words were for real. It was a call from one of the three guys who fought while in the seventh standard. We were wondering how can that guy reach us so precisely without creating any flutter. Seemingly that guy had made a very small friendly talk with no visible 'harm'. We almost forgot about the call till next day evening, when at same time she again got a call from that guy. This time it was a bit longer conversation of around 8 minutes. She was becoming more concerned. From that day the calls were more frequent and day by day her endurance for the phone calls were increasing, for she was never so keen to speak on telephone. It was almost a month before I decided to speak with her about this issue.

By the time i decided to speak her, they were speaking almost half an hour everyday. Although she had been telling me everything that they were conversing, i thought of having an open talk on it and i knew her well for developing any doubts on her. There was a temple in our college campus, and it was one of the favourite place for both us. One fine Sunday, as usual we went to the temple and were sitting under a tree, i asked what was her stand on the issue, i even asked her why she was continuing that thing. She took her time to reply. She was seemingly doubtful on her own conviction, but she told that she doesnt want any outsider to know about her affair and that she was confident that she can 'handle' the issue. While we were into the conversation, one of our classmate came by, handing over a letter, saying she picked it up the day before for her and forgot to hand over to her. The from address of the letter showed that it was from him. We gazed over the envelope little confused, to open it or not. Decidedly, she opened it and we were expecting a gala romance card, for all the boys are bound to know and do that much only. But it was a handwritten letter folded in three. The moment we unfolded it, it was her name written in relatively bold letters. It was in Tamil and was written in a bit...'awkward', was the word i used then. Following the name was a neatly written letter running into three pages in English. I dont even remember writing a post card to my parents, and hence when i saw a letter of three pages written by someone of my age group, i was having a mixed feeling. She read the letter, hung on to it for a moment or so, and handed over to me. She wanted me to read it. The very first line was shocking wont anybody be, if it read, i still remember exactly, "I want you to read this letter when you are sitting under your favourite tree in the college temple".

The letter was well composed, i should say, narrating his attraction towards her right from the school days. After the school he had roamed around with a lot of girls and has now come back to square one, to her. I expected 'yours lovingly' in the signing block, while it read, 'yours affectionately'. This guy had some knowledge of English, i should say. We sat in silent for some time, wondering how come he knows all those details, for she could not remember saying it to him. The postal stamp showed the place where he claimed to be studying. After thinking a lot, my friend told that she will make all our classmates to read it, for she doubted that without one of their help this could not have been possible. Although i did not subscribe much to this idea, she did the same. Almost after two days of everyone girl in the class reading the letter, one of our friend found the reason for the awkwardness in the way her name was written.

The name although looked as if written in Tamil, it was actually written in English letters, shaped in a such a way to look like Tamil! After knowing this, the word looked 'beautiful'. That day when they were speaking, she did mention that it was good. They kept speaking and now they were daily breaking the half an hour limit. Then came the second letter, which as we expected had a special thing, her name written as an ambigram, the one you could read in multiple orientation. The letter was once again very famous, as it was also circulated. It was comfortable to circulate the letter, as it was very decent and more particularly it never had his name, but for his signature, which itself had an artistic touch. The anagram was an hit, that next day we saw her name written in the same way on the class board, although we doubted, one of our friend told that she had written it. Almost everyone started practising to write their name in that way. More letters followed and every single letter had some or other specialites like an original poem, reading alternate words, modified Bharathiyar poems, a pencil sketch, very old Tamil poems, poems that had her name, etc..,. All these made her and that unknown person more famous in the college, especially in the hostel. Whenever she got his call, one or the other hostellers used to chat with him.

With all these developments, i was growing more concerned. Although we could manage our friends as in to the identity of that unknown person, i was worried. I was worried as in, where all those were leading to. All those things were happening over a period of year or so. I had a conversation again with her, this time more decided of strongly suggesting her to cut him off, to my surprise, she was not inclined to do so. I did have a thought crossing in my mind, that she might be drifting, but could not dare to voice it to her. By now they have been speaking everyday for minimum an hour and in the weekend nothing below two hours. One fine day, she got a parcel and as any guess would go, it was a gift from him. It was her favourite God's idol etched inside a piece of crystal to give a 3-Dimensional look. Although she had been shoving off the letters inside a box, she could not do the same to this idol. It sat on our study table. I guess one of the friends should have asked him to visit and show himself, he told her that he will be visiting us that weekend. While most of the hostellers were keen to meet him, we both were just short of panicking. The weekend came and went, but not he. Next day, he told he was surprised to see more girls with her and hence walked back. He described the surroundings so exactly, that we had no options but to believe that he just walked off right in front of us. This time i told her very clear on her face that she should decide and end one of the guys. She told she will end it for all.

That weekend, she walked to the phone decidedly and when she came back her face was paler than ever. She told that he had proposed to her.

I asked what she had replied to him, for which she told that he had requested not to say anything immediately and to say her decision after one week, the time when he will be giving the next call. That one week period void of his call will help her to decide clearly, he had told. I asked her what she has decided, for that she replied, to my surprise, "He has given me one week to think, let me think!". Unfortunately he did not call in a week and then we were not available on phone, things went like this and our semester exams came. By the time we came back joined for our sixth semester, i did not know the developments in detail, but just that she did not reply anything clearly. One fine day, came a bouquet and well wishing card and a lengthy letter from him. I was not patient enough to read those 8 pages, so saw the signing bock, which read, "Good Bye, wishing you all goodness in life" and then his signature. After that there was sign of him. I thought she 'handled' it as she told she would.

Then the time flew off, we passed out, i got a job and went places and finally settled. She did work for some time, although briefly, and then she got married to a different guy. During the marriage, she was very composed and confident of what ever she was doing, that did soothe me. Things were moving very smooth unless one day, almost two years later to our college, when she called me and she was in tears, saying that 'unknown' personality had visited her in-laws place. I was awe struck. How can he do this..??? What stupid guy he must be...?? Really had no brains to think about the harm it might cause her..?? Fortunately, she was settled somewhere else and her father-in-law made him to speak to her over the phone...what in the name of heck..?? Things were not so smooth from that day. She was worried and literally shaking, whenever the phone was ringing or the door bell chimed. It is a fear that is still lingering in her mind, although there was no further attempts from his side to approach her, but she is always worried.

Is it all warranted..?? Guys dont have any brain and concern to the counterparts. If that guy had been sensible enough he would not only be thinking of himself and his own so called love but also as about the life of the girl. What good could it have done by visiting her in-laws place, that too after two years of peaceful marriage life....?? Was he expecting her to break off the marriage bonds and run away with him..?? What could have been his intent, God knows. I do have lot of respect for the Love and Lovers, but this guy should be a real crack to behave like this. I dont think I would ever be able to forget and forgive this guy, for whatever he had done to my only friend.

To be continued from the Friend of the Guy's point of view.

One of my friend 3..

This blog is about one of my long time friend, whom I had met in my earlier days and then lost touch, in fact the remembrance also for a quiet some time till I met I him again in my life in an unexpected time. No wonder we were friends again and even thicker friends than the previous occasion. It is pertinent to mention here that I was not in touch much with the friend who initially was the link in between us.

He was a very soft-spoken, jovial and good hearted friend (still is). He was very good at studies and unlike me a very studious person who used to be the cream of our batch. He was really good at sketches. Even in the diagrams he used to add a personal touch of pencil shades, which when I tried gave me yet another lowest mark in the class. He was very shy towards the opposite sex and I have seldom seen him speaking with the other part of the society. We both happen to be attending a personality development program together which he quit in between. That particular program had a lot of girls, which I suspect is the main reason for him to quit. Long time after the good association in the educational institute, he went in his field of interest while landed in my place, and we tried to stay in touch with each other.

In one such attempt to be in touch, I gave him a call on his mobile. To my surprise I heard a soft murmur of a girl’s voice along with his on the other end. Probably, since my call was from an unknown number somebody seemingly was enquiring who is on the line. I thought that I must be dreaming to hear a whispering female voice along with that of him. Yet I wanted to make sure that I was wrong in hearing so, I began fishing. Just to fish right and tight, I mounted a lot of pressure over him to extract the truth. What I learnt was unimaginable, at least for the friend whom I thought, I knew well.

It was indeed his girl friend’s voice. Nothing stunning, for a male has to settle with a female. I simply could not match the figure of that friend I had in my mind and the one I am having on the phone. Startled. Startled was the word. I was never ever thinking that he would be having such a part in his life. I, as usual, was disappointed with my calculations.

I learned that they were having a steady relation for more than ten years. Guess what, he had proposed the girl when she was in her Tenth standard, and had become a reason for her low marks. Their parents happen to be old time friends and have known each other for quiet a sometime. As a family friend’s son and daughter they both have been dear to the parents but as ‘in-law’, they could not accept. As it turned out to be the parents were not agreeing. Nothing new! But in their case they were not agreeing to each other.

Might be the personal knowledge about each other for a longer time and in the earlier days may have been a reason for refusing each other’s son and daughter as their in-laws. She after having accepted his proposal has been steady with her parents throughout. She very boldly expressed herself in the right time and stood by it. Our friend also, as it turned out to be, kept trying out his own methods of convincing his parents. The tug of war has been for last four years after both got settled up with a job. She was almost ousted from her house and staying in a hostel for the work in different place. Her routine visit to her own home has also not so very pleasant at times. The parents have the best weapon, sentimental torture. Playing with other’s feeling and sentiments to force their way. Her parent has been threatening her of committing suicide, should she try and continue to speak of our friend. This bends few persons while it shapes the good into better person. Shaped into a better person she had resolved that she will marry him, with everyone’s permission. No eloping. Women, when resolve on something, become a strong person and she was strong to stand by her resolution. Surprisingly, our friend who has been trying things from his side in his style had offered to elope with, for which he got lambasted.

After so many years of struggle, things were getting better while one of the relatives of them eloped. Again turmoil and distance in the issue. Interestingly, even when the issue was in full open our friend and she have been visiting each other’s house. If it is in absence of the son or daughter, they have been shown same affection as the earlier days.

Setting things apart, the cause of all the conflict seems to be the EP. BP is curable and controllable while the EP has no end till ‘I’ die. EP is Ego Problem. Some kind of EP. Things are always complicated. When two of my subordinates quarrel with each other, I call them and put them under lot of work pressure together, that they forget each other’s issue and sync together. My organisation has unique solutions for all issues. Unfortunately my organisation is not the way of living for the greater populace of the society. So with the time medicine things get cured.

Recently I met them as 'happily married'. Due to my commitments I happen to have lost the track of their life, which they retracted for me, together. After the eloping episode and the humiliation which that family underwent, there was a long lull period and the parents miscalculated that their son and daughter are back to their control. Unfortunately they got it all wrong and on one fine day the ‘I’ of both parents died they agreed to let their ‘children’ to be happy and to handle their life themselves. I heard that their marriage was postponed twice at last moments and in the third time the marriage took place in a peaceful family function followed by a gala celebration in a hall.

If only the parents had knew their children well the unnecessary humiliation for each other could have been spared. The family would have branched out earlier. After all, it is children’s life which the parents think is ‘their’ responsibility. Yes, it is their responsibility to certain extent. They have the responsibility to grow the children to the stage where the children start ‘thinking’ and ‘deciding’ for themselves. Then is the responsibility of the children to prove that their out of good parents/family and prove that they are worth their salt. If I train somebody and certify that he is good, then I should allow him to prove that he has trained well. Once he is proves, which he would if I certify so, then it is my confidence upon him and me coming true. If the parents have grown me well they should have the confidence that I would not go off the track. It is me who is proving their worthiness my establishing my worthiness.

Moreover the love marriage has its own larger scale advantages. No lectures, but on the very first instance it eradicates the nuances of the caste system in the longer run. It would develop a society full of confident persons. ‘Swayambara’, the older system of marriage had given the right of selecting the life partner to the women. Let us not go an age behind them of forcing a marriage in the name of arranged marriage. Eventually after I die, it is my sons or daughters who have to fend for themselves. Let me not force things upon him for I have to build confidence in him. ‘Give a fish he finishes in a day. Teaching him fishing, he survives ‘his’ life’.